When we got the boys they came with TONS of clothes. This was very cool. However as I was sorting through things I realized the majority of the clothes were one to two.. or three sizes too small for them. Immediately I started making piles to make sense of things.
They are ages 4 and 6 and some of the clothes were 2T and 24months. I'm sure they've had these things forever and who knows if they've been wearing them... but I quickly made a pile of things I knew were too small for them. I mostly shifted around and gave the younger boy the older boys clothes. I have a box of clothes that don't fit them and my hope is when our social worker comes I can ask her if I can switch out the box of old clothes for a box of new (or new to them) clothes. I've got some great stuff so far but I'm still in need of size 6 and 7. Pants, shorts, shirts, jammies.. you name it. If you have any gently used items in these sizes that your kiddos aren't using or if you feel the urge to donate to the cause then email me marygudgel@hotmail.com or message me on fb. I'm thinking we'll have the boys until wed so its gotta be soon.
I'm sure you know appearance can make a huge difference in kids self esteem. These boys are incredible and I want to make sure they at least have a good wardrobe of clothes that fit them as they transition into their next home. (for more about that read my previous post)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Be prepared, this is a long one!
Well it has been a very busy, exciting, emotional three days!
We got our "big boys" and they are doing so great. The foster mom that had them before us was known to run a tight ship. It's obvious they learned a lot from being with her. I've been impressed in so many different ways with how well behaved they are. They really are great boys. For instance.. in the morning when they wake up they wont get out of bed until Brian or I go in their room and say good morning to them. We don't hear a peep from them until we go in there. That's just a small example.. they know how to share, use good manners, are good eaters, and the list goes on. hmm dream placement? I think so. However the situation is not as perfect as they are. =(
They are free for adoption. They have siblings and before they were placed with us they had been with two of their biological sisters. The social worker gave the ok to separate them on the condition that they have weekly visits with their sisters who are in another foster-adopt home in town.
We knew they were adoptable when they were placed with us, but they were trying to place them quickly so they asked if we would take them for a week and provide respite care. After a week we are supposed to decide if we are serious about keeping them, possibly adopting them. We agreed to the week and with the excitement there was a part of me that really thought we may be able to adopt them eventually.
As soon as we loaded them and all of their stuff in the car the day we picked them up they immediately started calling us mom and dad. A little shocked we went with it. We would soon figure out they give that title to whoever is taking care of them at the time. That's all they know of a mom and dad. Let's just say hearing mom and dad out of 2 boys is much different than hearing it from 4 boys. The fist night home was very crazy, but it went as well as it could. Bedtime is where I started to melt. We were putting the big boys to bed and one of them volunteered to pray. He prayed for his siblings by name, his old foster mom, dad (Brian) and "this mom" and he squeezed my hand. For some reason I found myself literally fighting back tears. I couldn't ignore the fact these boys have NO ONE and it hit me like a load of bricks.
After we put Cam to bed we came out to the living room. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so overwhelmed. Brian and I were exactly on the same page. We realized how big of an undertaking having these boys is. We agreed that having them forever, adopting them, would definitely have to complete our family and we both know we're not ready for that. We both want at least one more biological child. So what happens next?
We're not 100 percent sure, however we think it may involve them getting back with their siblings and being replaced in a home that will take all four kiddos. We are waiting to hear from the county worker as to what the next step is. I'm thinking we will have them until Wednesday or Thursday. I am totally ok with that, in fact I said we could keep them for awhile if they want to try and find the right family, but no is sure if that's the best. Tonight I finally found a peace with the whole situation. I've been praying God would help me understand what HE was doing as best as possible, and understand the emotions I was feeling. He's given me a few hints that everything will be ok. The younger one last night at bed time said, "we're going to move" I was a little taken back since they haven't heard us talk about anything regarding how long they will be here. I asked him what he meant and again he just said "we're going to move". The older one got really mad at him and told him to stop lying. The older one is really looking to attach. So this evening we were outside and both of the older boys were sitting with me. The younger one mentioned when they moved another time they found a dead snake in the yard.. he thought it was cool. I asked him if he liked moving and he said yea. I asked him if he thought it was kind of fun to be able to stay at a bunch of houses and again he said yes and smiled. The older one then told me he wanted to stay here. I told him he could stay here until they find a great place for him to go. Finally I felt like I was being honest with them. I don't want them to be in constant worry about having to leave us, but I also don't want to give them any reason to think we lied to them or broke a promise to them. He was fine with that answer and we had a fabulous rest of the night.
So I've accepted the fact these little boys will most likely only be with us for a few more days, until the end of the respite care period. I know that God had them with us for some reason. We learned a lot and I hope if nothing else they will know in their heart they have one more mom and dad that care about them a lot and will pray for them often. As I'm sitting here amongst all these piles of little boy clothes I know a way we can continue to help them, and you can help them too! If you're interested read my next blog post. It will be much shorter and straight to the point.
I'm sure my emotional roller coaster will continue for quite awhile as I reflect on our experience with these little guys, but that's a part of this whole experience. Our social worker told us that it often takes actually getting your fist placement to figure out what you're really wanting/willing to do.
For us, for now, its going to be short term foster care. Only placements whose parent(s) are actively involved in getting their kids back. We can handle kids for shorter periods of time.. in fact we can try to even plan on having more kids around that.. but we're not ready to adopt at the moment. For this we are sure.
We got our "big boys" and they are doing so great. The foster mom that had them before us was known to run a tight ship. It's obvious they learned a lot from being with her. I've been impressed in so many different ways with how well behaved they are. They really are great boys. For instance.. in the morning when they wake up they wont get out of bed until Brian or I go in their room and say good morning to them. We don't hear a peep from them until we go in there. That's just a small example.. they know how to share, use good manners, are good eaters, and the list goes on. hmm dream placement? I think so. However the situation is not as perfect as they are. =(
They are free for adoption. They have siblings and before they were placed with us they had been with two of their biological sisters. The social worker gave the ok to separate them on the condition that they have weekly visits with their sisters who are in another foster-adopt home in town.
We knew they were adoptable when they were placed with us, but they were trying to place them quickly so they asked if we would take them for a week and provide respite care. After a week we are supposed to decide if we are serious about keeping them, possibly adopting them. We agreed to the week and with the excitement there was a part of me that really thought we may be able to adopt them eventually.
As soon as we loaded them and all of their stuff in the car the day we picked them up they immediately started calling us mom and dad. A little shocked we went with it. We would soon figure out they give that title to whoever is taking care of them at the time. That's all they know of a mom and dad. Let's just say hearing mom and dad out of 2 boys is much different than hearing it from 4 boys. The fist night home was very crazy, but it went as well as it could. Bedtime is where I started to melt. We were putting the big boys to bed and one of them volunteered to pray. He prayed for his siblings by name, his old foster mom, dad (Brian) and "this mom" and he squeezed my hand. For some reason I found myself literally fighting back tears. I couldn't ignore the fact these boys have NO ONE and it hit me like a load of bricks.
After we put Cam to bed we came out to the living room. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so overwhelmed. Brian and I were exactly on the same page. We realized how big of an undertaking having these boys is. We agreed that having them forever, adopting them, would definitely have to complete our family and we both know we're not ready for that. We both want at least one more biological child. So what happens next?
We're not 100 percent sure, however we think it may involve them getting back with their siblings and being replaced in a home that will take all four kiddos. We are waiting to hear from the county worker as to what the next step is. I'm thinking we will have them until Wednesday or Thursday. I am totally ok with that, in fact I said we could keep them for awhile if they want to try and find the right family, but no is sure if that's the best. Tonight I finally found a peace with the whole situation. I've been praying God would help me understand what HE was doing as best as possible, and understand the emotions I was feeling. He's given me a few hints that everything will be ok. The younger one last night at bed time said, "we're going to move" I was a little taken back since they haven't heard us talk about anything regarding how long they will be here. I asked him what he meant and again he just said "we're going to move". The older one got really mad at him and told him to stop lying. The older one is really looking to attach. So this evening we were outside and both of the older boys were sitting with me. The younger one mentioned when they moved another time they found a dead snake in the yard.. he thought it was cool. I asked him if he liked moving and he said yea. I asked him if he thought it was kind of fun to be able to stay at a bunch of houses and again he said yes and smiled. The older one then told me he wanted to stay here. I told him he could stay here until they find a great place for him to go. Finally I felt like I was being honest with them. I don't want them to be in constant worry about having to leave us, but I also don't want to give them any reason to think we lied to them or broke a promise to them. He was fine with that answer and we had a fabulous rest of the night.
So I've accepted the fact these little boys will most likely only be with us for a few more days, until the end of the respite care period. I know that God had them with us for some reason. We learned a lot and I hope if nothing else they will know in their heart they have one more mom and dad that care about them a lot and will pray for them often. As I'm sitting here amongst all these piles of little boy clothes I know a way we can continue to help them, and you can help them too! If you're interested read my next blog post. It will be much shorter and straight to the point.
I'm sure my emotional roller coaster will continue for quite awhile as I reflect on our experience with these little guys, but that's a part of this whole experience. Our social worker told us that it often takes actually getting your fist placement to figure out what you're really wanting/willing to do.
For us, for now, its going to be short term foster care. Only placements whose parent(s) are actively involved in getting their kids back. We can handle kids for shorter periods of time.. in fact we can try to even plan on having more kids around that.. but we're not ready to adopt at the moment. For this we are sure.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
We're getting a placement!
Well the time has come! We finally (that's the impatient part of me talking) are getting a placement! I say finally but really it's great timing. I just finished school two weeks ago and I am now on summer break until mid August. It will be very nice to have some down time to get adjusted with the new additions to our family. Yes I said additions... two boys.
I can't tell you much about their situation because I'm not allowed to. Lets see I can tell you ages... They are 4 and 6 years old. We initially didn't think we wanted kids older than 4 but for some reason when they called us with these two we didn't have any hesitation. Maybe that's because a month ago they called us and asked if we wanted to take a 9 year old and that felt really old. (We obviously said no, although there was a BIG part of me that wanted to say yes).
We will have them for one week before we officially become their foster parents. This gives us some time to make sure its going to work out. If then we decide we want to switch them over to our care then we could have them for quite awhile.
With that.. I'm going crazy thinking about all the things I need to get done before they get here in less than 48 hours. Tonight we unbunked the tree house bunk beds in the tree room. That is where they'll be sleeping. Camden will now sleep in the play room/guest bedroom (No big deal because he sleeps there a few nights a week as is). This is what still needs to be done before they get here...or soon after they get here.
-Get drawers to put under beds in the tree room and Cams new room
-Get some clothes (they will bring with them what they have but there's no guarantee what that will be)
-Figure out where the 6 year old is going to start 1st grade next year. I'm leaning towards Merced Christian so he can be in the same class as my niece. So If we choose to do that I need to sign him up asap.
-hmm that may be all.. Ok so it doesn't seem like that much to do but my mind is going a mile a minute I'm so excited/nervous.
oh and did I mention that we have our annual trip to the lake house in Montana coming up.. as in we leave the end of next week?!?! If all goes as planned we will be buying two more plane tickets and bringing them with us.
We are excited. Please pray that this transition goes smoothly. We learned that every time a child gets moved to a new home they actually suffer brain damage. I pray that every thing will go as smoothly as possible and that these boys will be as comfortable with us as possible . Pray that Brian and I will have patience and understanding. Pray that Camden and Andersen will adjust well and that every one will get along. Thank you every one for your support. It is greatly appreciated. =)
I can't tell you much about their situation because I'm not allowed to. Lets see I can tell you ages... They are 4 and 6 years old. We initially didn't think we wanted kids older than 4 but for some reason when they called us with these two we didn't have any hesitation. Maybe that's because a month ago they called us and asked if we wanted to take a 9 year old and that felt really old. (We obviously said no, although there was a BIG part of me that wanted to say yes).
We will have them for one week before we officially become their foster parents. This gives us some time to make sure its going to work out. If then we decide we want to switch them over to our care then we could have them for quite awhile.
With that.. I'm going crazy thinking about all the things I need to get done before they get here in less than 48 hours. Tonight we unbunked the tree house bunk beds in the tree room. That is where they'll be sleeping. Camden will now sleep in the play room/guest bedroom (No big deal because he sleeps there a few nights a week as is). This is what still needs to be done before they get here...or soon after they get here.
-Get drawers to put under beds in the tree room and Cams new room
-Get some clothes (they will bring with them what they have but there's no guarantee what that will be)
-Figure out where the 6 year old is going to start 1st grade next year. I'm leaning towards Merced Christian so he can be in the same class as my niece. So If we choose to do that I need to sign him up asap.
-hmm that may be all.. Ok so it doesn't seem like that much to do but my mind is going a mile a minute I'm so excited/nervous.
oh and did I mention that we have our annual trip to the lake house in Montana coming up.. as in we leave the end of next week?!?! If all goes as planned we will be buying two more plane tickets and bringing them with us.
We are excited. Please pray that this transition goes smoothly. We learned that every time a child gets moved to a new home they actually suffer brain damage. I pray that every thing will go as smoothly as possible and that these boys will be as comfortable with us as possible . Pray that Brian and I will have patience and understanding. Pray that Camden and Andersen will adjust well and that every one will get along. Thank you every one for your support. It is greatly appreciated. =)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Our oldest is 3!
I can't believe three years has gone by since our oldest was born. He is such a blessing and we thank God for him every day!
This year, after much debate, Camden decided he wanted a pirate party. Pirates was one of his favorite rides and Disneyland when we went a few months ago, and he loves Jake and the never land pirates on Disney. So as soon as he committed to the idea (as much as a three year old could) I started planning.
Of course the invites were obvious, a message in a bottle of course!
We had the party in our children's building at church. Some very talented people just built a really cool ship that is used as a stage on Sunday mornings. The kids loved playing on it and giving puppet shows.
The cake.. seriously maybe the easiest cake i've ever made.
The Birthday Banner, thank you Auntie Amy and Uncle Todd (he burnt the edges)
Walking the plank
Painting treasure chests.
The first pinata experience. I thought I was doing good by getting a soft bat.. but it didn't work. lesson learned.
Happy Birthday Cam! We love you!
This year, after much debate, Camden decided he wanted a pirate party. Pirates was one of his favorite rides and Disneyland when we went a few months ago, and he loves Jake and the never land pirates on Disney. So as soon as he committed to the idea (as much as a three year old could) I started planning.
Of course the invites were obvious, a message in a bottle of course!
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We had the party in our children's building at church. Some very talented people just built a really cool ship that is used as a stage on Sunday mornings. The kids loved playing on it and giving puppet shows.
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The cake.. seriously maybe the easiest cake i've ever made.
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The Birthday Banner, thank you Auntie Amy and Uncle Todd (he burnt the edges)
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Walking the plank
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Painting treasure chests.
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The first pinata experience. I thought I was doing good by getting a soft bat.. but it didn't work. lesson learned.
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Happy Birthday Cam! We love you!
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Sunday, May 8, 2011
Capistrano Beach House
The trip for the month of April was to the Capistrano Beach house. Brian's parents have been taking trips to this house for about 10 years now. They brought the family for the first time about 4 years ago. The lady that owns it rents it out to pastors and their families for a pretty reasonable rate. We usually go in July, but this summer she's going through a rental agency because she wants to make money to put towards her grandkids college funds and to do some up keep on the house. So if you want to book a week this summer I could get you the info.. I mean they're only renting it for $7,500/week! Crazy huh?!?! Here's a link to more information.
Anyway, we had a blast. Brian couldn't come because of work so that was a bummer. However I got to bring my friend Erin and her little girl who is Ander's age. We had so much fun and Erin fit in with the fam perfectly. Of course my in laws are so wonderful it would be hard not to fit in with them. =)
The beautiful house
All of the kiddos flock to Grandpa.. even the ones that aren't related
Andersen always wanted someone right next to him when we were outside... Nonna played that role on the patio
If we arranged marriages in our culture this one would be a done deal!
We love our rainbows!
Cam loves the ocean. His favorite place was being by the water.
He liked running away from the waves
Beautiful!
Attacking Auntie Katie with the cars
Andersen loves hats all of the sudden. Funny because Camden would never wear one at this age.. he actually still resists!
Told you.. done deal. Ok there may have been some prompting from the mommas
Doesn't my baby look like a big boy?!?!
Anyway, we had a blast. Brian couldn't come because of work so that was a bummer. However I got to bring my friend Erin and her little girl who is Ander's age. We had so much fun and Erin fit in with the fam perfectly. Of course my in laws are so wonderful it would be hard not to fit in with them. =)
The beautiful house
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All of the kiddos flock to Grandpa.. even the ones that aren't related
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Andersen always wanted someone right next to him when we were outside... Nonna played that role on the patio
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If we arranged marriages in our culture this one would be a done deal!
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We love our rainbows!
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Cam loves the ocean. His favorite place was being by the water.
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He liked running away from the waves
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Beautiful!
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Attacking Auntie Katie with the cars
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Andersen loves hats all of the sudden. Funny because Camden would never wear one at this age.. he actually still resists!
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Told you.. done deal. Ok there may have been some prompting from the mommas
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Doesn't my baby look like a big boy?!?!
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Saturday, April 23, 2011
We took the train to San Fran
Last weekend we took Amtrak from Merced to San Francisco and back all in one day. It took us about three hours each way. Why in the world would we do that when driving it will only take two hours each way? One reason.. Camden. He is in love with trains. Actually he's fascinated with everything with a motor at the moment. Buses, trains, cars, trucks, tractors, airplanes and helicopters are something we hear about regularly. Our church participated in a kids day out with Amtrak. Its fun for the kids to be able to ride the train, go somewhere fun, and all at a much cheaper price. AND since Amtrak doesn't cross over the bay, we took one of their buses across the bridge. We killed two birds with one stone that day.. we rode a train and a bus! He was a happy camper. As always, here's some pictures of the trip. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the train. I was too worried about making sure I had a tight hold on the little ones while we were standing next to the track. If you're really sad that there isn't a picture of the train, google Amtrak train and i'm sure you'll get the idea. That's what I'll have to do when it comes time to scrapbook.
Cam and Kara on the train
The W's
I love our little family
This guy was a riot.
I love my parents
She looks like a book worm with Papas glasses
Nonna met us at the Pier!
Andersen doing his "gasp and cover my mouth because something funny or silly happened"
Playing at the fountain at Ghiradeli square
Sisters
My baby is getting big!
Riding home with papa
Cam and Kara on the train
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The W's
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I love our little family
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This guy was a riot.
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I love my parents
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She looks like a book worm with Papas glasses
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Nonna met us at the Pier!
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Andersen doing his "gasp and cover my mouth because something funny or silly happened"
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Playing at the fountain at Ghiradeli square
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Sisters
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My baby is getting big!
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Riding home with papa
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Sunday, April 17, 2011
Some random pictures from random times
Back in March my grandparents came to visit. They live in Chicago so we rarely get to see them. It was great to get to visit with them and to get pictures of them and the kids.
Four generations
Great grandparents!
This pictures is funny because Kara was asking cam to be her prince and dance with her all night! He kept blowing her off, she was actually really sad about it. You'd never guess it from this picture though.
Practicing his skate tricks, even if he does have to use moms leg for balance
Look how handsome my boys are. I love them.
This was the first day it was warm enough to wear his rainbows... he loves them
How did I get so lucky?!?!
And for those of you waiting for a Foster care update... We meet with our social worker once a month from now on just to keep things current. At this point we're just waiting for the right placement to come along. We know God has a plan and we are trusting in HIS timing.
Four generations
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Great grandparents!
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This pictures is funny because Kara was asking cam to be her prince and dance with her all night! He kept blowing her off, she was actually really sad about it. You'd never guess it from this picture though.
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Practicing his skate tricks, even if he does have to use moms leg for balance
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Look how handsome my boys are. I love them.
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This was the first day it was warm enough to wear his rainbows... he loves them
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How did I get so lucky?!?!
And for those of you waiting for a Foster care update... We meet with our social worker once a month from now on just to keep things current. At this point we're just waiting for the right placement to come along. We know God has a plan and we are trusting in HIS timing.
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